Why I am qualified for the Seattle Mariners GM position

Since the Seattle Mariners fired their General Manager Jack Zduriencik today, I would like to start an online petition for me, Joseph John Douglas Parkhill, to be the next GM of the Seattle Mariners. It's been one of my lifelong goals to work for the Mariners and I want this to become a reality because I love the Mariners and I care what happens to them. I know I have Autism and am not very social, but I sure know more about baseball than Jack Zduriencik & Bill Bavasi put together. For example, I know how to use advanced stats like Wins Above Replacement or WAR, which calculates a player’s total contribution to his team. For example, I calculated that, in his career, Felix Hernandez has a value of 49.7 WAR, meaning he has given the Mariners 49.7 more wins than a replacement player would give for his club. I also know how to calculate some of  the unimportant/useless statistics like Catcher's ERA (a.k.a. Pitch Framing), which means how much value a catcher is at calling the game for his team's pitchers. However, the legendary Bill James once said that "while it is possible that catchers may have a significant effect on a pitching staff, there is too much yearly variation in Catcher's ERA for it to be a reliable indicator of ability.". So I rarely use that one. I also know that the Seattle Mariners need to keep young ballplayers and not trade them to east coast teams like Boston, Tampa Bay or New York, as young players are baseball's best natural resource. Why were the Mariners were so good in the mid 1990s to early 2000s? They stocked the farm system with young players and had an incredible scouting department! Which is what I want to do, plus, young players get more recognition if they win together and the more recognition the players get, the more popular the team they are on becomes over time, which increases fan attendance, which increases the $$$ flow for the owners and then everyone's happy and that's all I want to do is to make everyone happy. http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/joey-parkhill-for-seattle-mariners-gm-job